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Called to Serve

Nov. 15th, 2006 | 04:26 pm
location: Work
mood: contentcontent
music: None

Well, last Wednesday I received a very important piece of mail. I've been waiting for it to come for SEVEN weeks and it FINALLY came!!
This piece of mail contained my Latter-day Saint call to serve a mission. I have been called to the Georgia Macon Mission and I'm scheduled to leave on 28 February. I'm so glad that the waiting is over! Now I can really prepare and get excited to share the gospel with the people in Georgia (or at least those who will listen to me). Shiny!

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Aug. 15th, 2006 | 04:56 pm
mood: crazycrazy

I am totally boring! Not really, it just looks like it on this site. I've actually been very busy writing letters to my friends serving missions, writing to my aunt in Florida, prepping and finalizing my campaing for RUSH and everything in between! Phew!

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Aug. 8th, 2006 | 09:26 am
mood: awake

There are so many things to say. I have lately been thrown for a loop--well, in all honesty I've been in this loop for a while, it's just gotten more complicated in some areas and less so in others. So, what to write about today?
Last Thursday I had a doctor's appointment... But that's not such a good story.
Ahh, yes, Saturday.
Do you have a definition for the perfect summer day? Well, Saturday fit mine. The morning turned out to be nice and cool, but that didn't last long, so my friend McKenzie and I loaded up our gear and headed to the swimming pool. We hung around, enjoying the cool water and warm sunshine, until we were too hungry to be there any longer. We left the pool and got frosties from our friendly neighborhood Wendy's and ate them at the park in the shade. Oh, so nice. That evening my friends (McKenzie included) and I went up the canyon near my house (when I say near, I mean NEAR). It took forever to find a picnick area, but eventually we found a very nice one where the river ran right along the side. With much ado we built a fire (it just didn't want to stay lit) and then sat around and enjoyed the company and scenery while roasting hot dogs and making s'mores. We got down the canyon with just enough time to watch the sun set. Possibly the very best part of the day was the thunder storm that followed that night. Bright blinding streaks of lightning provided the best firework show that has only been topped by one other experience in my life, and the booming, window rattling thunder that followed milliseconds later vibrated through my whole body. It brought with it that incredible smell of rain, too. And, sure enough, half way through this specatcular display of nature, big, fat rain drops began to fall. I lay on my back watching the lightning and letting the rain fall on me. It was like living in a dream. I had just enjoyed the most wonderful day of my entire summer, surrounded by friends and filled with memorable experiences, and to top it all off, I got to enjoy getting drenched in the warm rain while watching lightning dance across the sky.
SO nice!

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Serenity's Meme

Jul. 27th, 2006 | 03:07 pm

I stole it from Sereinity, who stole it from pious pixie.

[ ]the dark
[x] staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[ ] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[x] closed spaces (well, only closed, crowded spaces, or closed spaces with no windows.
[ ] heights
[ ] cats
[ ] dogs
[x] birds
[x] spiders and/or other insects
{ ] driving or being in cars
[ ] flying on a plane
[ ] flowers or other plants
[ ] being touched
[x] fire
[ ] water
[x] the ocean (I don't like it's depths. I love the ocean, but it's uncertainty scares me)
[x] failure
[ ] success
[ ] germs
[ ] thunder/lightning
[x] frogs/toads
[ ] mice/rats (I had a rat for a pet)
[x] jumping from high places
[x] snow (if it's really, really stormy. I don't like driving in it)
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] cotton balls (cotton balls? Who's scared of cotton balls?)
[x] cemeteries (especially at night)
[x] clowns (IT ruined it for me)
[x] large crowds
[ ] crossing bridges
[ ] death
[ ] Heaven
[ ] being robbed
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibility
[ ] tornadoes
[ ] hurricanes
[ ] diseases
[x] snakes
[x] sharks (why I'm afraid of the ocean)
[ ] Friday the 13th
[x] poverty (if I'm the one impoverished. I'm not afraid of the poor)
[x] ghosts
[x] Halloween (my least favorite holiday--even with the candy)
[ ] school
[ ] trains or railroads
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[ ] being alone
[x] being blind (I think that would kill me)
[ ] being deaf
[ ] growing up
[ ] monsters under my bed (goes with darkness)
[x] creepy noises during the night (especially in strange places)
[ ] bee stings
[x] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[ ] needles
[ ] blood
[ ] long words such as hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

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The Dentist

Jul. 19th, 2006 | 01:07 pm
mood: dorky

*cue the ominous music* dun dun dun!
So, Monday I had a dentist appontment. No sweat, right? WRONG! I have been to many a doctor and had many a malady to be cured and many a procedure done, and I really haven't minded that. But the dentist is another story. I just think it's wrong how they stick those curvy, pointy tools into my mouth and scrape, scrape, scrape my teeth until I'm sure SOMETHING is going to chip off. Eww, I can hear that scratchy sound now and it makes me writhe!
Really, I don't mind it that much. I acutally laugh at myself when I go because I can feel myself tensing up. To feel less like a dork I play a game with myself to see how long I can go before I need to tell myself to relax again. I just hate how they seem to yank on my relatively heathly teeth whilst making that infernal scraping sound. No, it's not that terrible. Usually I walk out feeling rather grateful because I love my mouth to be clean, and when I leave the dentist I know that it is.
Well, my fun adventure did not end on Monday. I went back today to have some sealants put on my teeth (let's prevent those cavities!). It took all of my energy not to laugh!
It started out normal enough. They sand blasted the tiny stains off of my teeth--yes, sand blasted. (The dentist assured me that it was food grade sand they were using, not that I really cared because I eat sand all the time anyway.) The stuff went EVERYWHERE, and it was the asistant's job to spray the leftover stuff away. Now, sand is a tricky substance. It likes to get everywhere and does not like to be washed away. To help the process my dentist held my lips open while she did it. TOTALLY WIERD!! I was picturing what it must have looked like to them: someone was holding my lips as if to air them out, like I was a big mouthed bass or something. I wanted to laugh so hard, but I knew that if I smiled my lips would tense up and he would lose his grip on them, which made me want to laugh even more.
I have a strange sense of humor, I know. But it was so funny to me because in any other setting that would look so strange!

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Rememe--Just a Revision of the First Two Questions

Jul. 19th, 2006 | 01:02 pm
mood: gratefulgrateful

1. FIRST NAME? Mattie (not sure if that's Madeline or Maddison, or, knowing the Cobb family, it could easily be some form of a male name. You can choose)
2. WHO WERE YOU NAMED AFTER? In "The Message" episode of Joss Whedon's Firefly, Jayne Cobb recieves a package from home containing a smashing hat and a letter from his mother. As he reads aloud he says that "Mattie has been sick with..." (something or other, and that's my spelling). So, I adopted that name and have donned the last name, too: Mattie Cobb. I'm Jayne's litte sister!

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Jul. 17th, 2006 | 01:56 pm
mood: goodgood

My friend Emilee sent this to me and I thought it was fun. I took out some of the questions because they were kinda irrelevent for this venue, so if the numbering is off, that's why.

1. FIRST NAME? Allison
2. WHO WERE YOU NAMED AFTER? My dad's mom, Alice (I was almost named Megan)
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HAND WRITING? Sure. (what a random question!) it's economical because it's small, and it's legible because I write like a school teacher.
5. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Tuna Fish, all the way! but roast beef is delish, too.
6. KIDS? Some day, but the only kids I have right now aren't mine, they just wish they were--HA! I'm joking. I have had nine awesome kids that I've nannied, and when you nanny that many children for as long as I did you do become a little possessive.
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? If my usual self ran into myself right now, then yeah, maybe they'd get along. I think that I'm kinda a wet blanket sometimes because I'm a pretty deep thinker. I mean, I can joke around if I'm in the right mood. That is a tough question, but I would probably answer in the affimative.
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Not right now, but if I'm feeling sarcastic then I do. But really, in all honesty, probably about as much as the next person.
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? You mean willingly throw myself off of a tall tower with an elastic tied around my feet? Uh, maybe if I had a lobotomy first. I've done that enough times FIGURATIVELY to want to do it LITERALLY.
12. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I don't usually eat cereal, but I am a fan of Malt o Meal's Cream of Wheat.
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN TAKING THEM OFF? I don't untie my tennis shoes, but all other shoes, yes, I do untie them before taking them off--they come off so much easier that way!
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically, maybe. Emotionally, hopefully. Mentally, ha!
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Cookie dough or Butterfinger
16. SHOE SIZE? 8-81/2
17. RED OR PINK? Blue and green
18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOU? I'm disappointed in myself for not being able to trust God 100% and have faith that He's taking care of me.
21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? My pants are an olive, green-brownish color (I don't know what you would call it), and my shoes are pink with yellow flowers.
22. LAST THING YOU ATE? A delicious cheese pocket from The Bakery. They didn't have any cheese danishes, so I opted for the second option.
23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Myself type, Nat click her mouse and pop her gum. Muffled voices around the office.
24. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No. Should I? Probably
25. FAVORITE FOOD? It depends. Ask me next week and it will be something different. I really like a french baguette, a piece of fruit (preferably a peach), and a nice tall glass of water for lunch. Ooh, I really like peaches, though.
26. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Oh, Happy Endings for SURE. I'm NOT a fan of scary movies.
27. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Robots with my cousin's kids. And before that West Side Story, but I fell asleep.
29. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter for snowboarding, Summer for the warmth, but in all honesty, I prefer the Autumn. There's just so much nostalgia linked to that season.
30. HUGS OR KISSES? Depends on who's offering, but most of the time, Hugs.
31. FAVORITE DESERT? Just one?! Serenity's pudding cupcakes. ;) If it has chocolate I'm SO there.
35. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? I watched Robots with my cousin's girls, but nothing else. I don't usually watch television, and when I do turn it on it's either The Office, Northern Exposure on DVD, or Firefly on DVD.
36. FAVORITE SOUNDS? The sound of my tires in the rain. I find the SHHHHH sound absolutley irresistable. Or just rain--I like that, too. I also like the hush that comes with snow falling.
38. DO YOU HAVE ANY TALENT? I'm sure I do somewhere. I'm pretty well rounded in lots of things, but I do like to write, and I have a good eye for photography--if I do say so myself!
39. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? LDS Hospital, Salt Lake City, Utah.
40. WHEN WERE YOU BORN? Tuesday, December 24, 1985 at 01:23--NO JOKE!
41. BROTHERS OR SISTERS? One older brother and one younger brother.
42. FAVORITE VACATION PLACE? Y'know, I just love to get away. I really like camping in southern Utah and I also love to go to Europe--they're two totally different vacations, though.
43. PETS? I've had four dogs over my lifetime. Sam the samoyed, Spanky, Max the mut, and my dog now, Lucky the golden lab. Lucky is ancient--she's 13 years old! But she's still SO cute!
44. MARRIED OR SINGLE? Unwillingly single, but someday I'm sure everything will work out and I'll be blissfully happy in marriage. (cross your fingers!!)
45. FAVORITE OUTFIT? I love my white tee shirts, but my green Dave Matthews one is pretty awesome too. I have some really cute Roxy capris that go with either, and I love my flip-flops.
46. OWN OR RENT YOUR HOME? Uh, that's a question??? I would really prefer to own my own home. Probably one of the first things I would buy if I had a million dollars.

47. FAVORITE MUSIC? Tough question. I like all sorts, but I can't stand David Gray and R&B stuff like that--Usher is borderline. I really like the sound of an accoustic guitar, and there's a band named Clarksville that I really love, but I can't find any of their songs. They had a song on the Dear Franky soundtrack, but they might be too indy still to have anything really out there.
48. BEER OR HARD LIQUOR? I'll pass on both. Never in my life have I accepted alcohol to drink, and never in my life do I expect to.
49. SMOKE? no thanks.
50. ARE YOU GOING TO DO THIS OR POOP OUT? well, obviously

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How Much Longer?

Jun. 19th, 2006 | 02:40 pm

Well, another weekend down. This weekend was pretty crazy busy. Friday I had a softball game--woot!--and then I hung out with my friends and watched The Office. I spend Saturday cleaning my house and studying and at four I realized that the next day was Father's Day. Shoot! I didn't have anything for my dad, so I spent a good chunk of the afternoon frantically shopping for SOMETHING to get for him. I ended up finding him a lame insulated mug to replace his old, battered, falling apart one. That night I went to a barbeque that a good friend of mine threw. There were a ton of people there that I barley knew, which is usually not my kind of party, but my childhood best friend Brie was there. I hadn't seen her for about two years, so you can imagine the reunion. Sunday was nice. I got to reminisce about my dad and my grandfather and spend time with the former. And I got to take a nap. Ahhhh, *sigh* Sunday afternoon naps are what life is all about...

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Jun. 12th, 2006 | 11:32 am
mood: Amazed

On my way to work today I was driving along the freeway and I saw a gigantic bird flying infront of me. Big birds aren't necessarily uncommon here. One can often see a hawk or a giant raven flying about. But this bird was different. I want to say it was a blue heron because it was big and of a bluish color, but I'm not sure because when I looked on the internet there weren't any pics of herons in flight. There's a bird wildlife sanctuary about 45 miles north of the city (which the state is going to pave over for a new highway--grrr!). It attracts all kinds of tropical birds, so my guess is that this bird probably was on it's way there. But WOW! That was totally awesome!

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Jun. 12th, 2006 | 10:43 am
mood: tiredtired

I feel sleepy
Oh, so sleepy,
I feel sleepy and muddled and tired!

Ahh, well. I think that my emotional rollercoaster has totally worn me out--at least, that's the only thing that I can think of that could wear me out like this. Not that it's still really terrible. It's actually much, much better. But there's something about heart pain that has affected my every faculty.
What an interesting weekend. I spent Friday night hanging out with my cool friend Mckeggers. We went to a wedding shower for a good friend of ours (aww!) and then watched The Office. I called Steven that night to ask him about his plans for the next evening because it was his birthday and I wanted to go and visit him. Well, he told me that he thought his friends would just hangout and watch movies, and that if that was the case then I was most certainly invited. M'k... I spent the next day preparing myself to be stood-up because he didn't sound so enthusiastic. When his friend called and invited me to go and be with them, well... Suprise!!
Saturday was the first time in two weeks that I've seen Steven. What an interesting experience... I had no idea how to act, what to say, or what it was that I was feeling. I'm a pretty empirical person. I have alwyas been in touch whith my feelings and I usually act (within reason) according to those feelings. That night, however, I couldn't, for the first time in my life, figure out what it was that I felt. I couldn't define or pinpoint anything. It was almost like a sensory over-load, but my core just kinda shut down to any assessment. SOOO wierd! The night turned out to not be so much a disaster as just a big question mark.
Huh... It was kinda freaky for me actually. I've never not felt anything before--I was totally displaced. Being there was tough enough, but as I drove home I didn't know; when I got home I talked to my mom and didn't know.
Before I went to bed I knew that I couldn't sleep with that black hole in my heart--sucking up my emotions and making them nil--so I wrote a letter. I was able to concentrate more on the thoughts bouncng around in my head and solidify them into a coherent idea. Someone, somewhere, read over my shoulder Saturday night. They heard my thoughts and helped me to work through them, and the change that it effected was awesome. I went to bed Saturday night with such a solid feeling of hope in my heart that I slept like a log--I had the creases from the sheets on my arms and legs to prove it.
Yesterday I went to church feeling better, but not completely recovered. I went and visited my old church because a friend of mine was giving a talk. Everyone there was my "village". I grew up in their neighborhood and they (lovingly) chewed me up and spit me out into the person that I am today. (Maybe that doesn't seem like the best metaphor, but trust me, it works.) When they asked me how I was I really wasn't sure what to say. Huh. I'm fine, I'm okay. For some reason, that doesn't suffice for old friends, but that's all I could say.
It wasn't until I got home from church and took the time to relax, meditate and ponder that I kinda found my bearings again. And as I did that hope that came over me on Saturday night settled in. I've been fighting the reality of the choices I've made. I know I have. And, because I'm a stubborn, strong willed person, there's some part of me that will probably continue to fight. But there's something out there that continues to push my limits. That something is the same thing that tells me to have hope and trust in unforseen things. *deep breath and long exhale* As I thought and pondered my resolve strengthened. I probably won't recover from that displacement soon. It's something that has become a part of me. I'll move past it, but I'll chalk it up to experience, too.

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